I am guilty of breaking your heart today

I have never abused a girl in my life!
Yet I have been guilty of it time and again!
Let all that talk go! I told you in a hushed voice that today is the end of the conversation! What you did taking that into account will remain in my mind on the dull sands of pain until the day I die!
Maybe you made me feel guilty!
I have become a non-human in your eyes!
If God forgives me, my sins will be forgiven.

I said earlier that my mother is a simple person, I am her child! My father is also not alive, I am an orphan! I do not like big people, i.e. rich people. Anyway, my conscience will come back to haunt me. Today, by living a simple life as a simple person, I have become a criminal in the eyes of society.

O Allah, grant me and my soul peace! There is a saying in the world that breaking a heart is the same as breaking a mosque. I, being a simple and straightforward person, have been guilty of breaking a heart in your court by wishing people well all my life!

I can’t find peace. My heart is breaking.
I have never intentionally harmed anyone in my life, even though I have been shamefully defeated by my conscience today.
I don’t know in God’s court whether this sin will ever be forgiven!

I spent my childhood and adolescence in abject poverty, my youth wandering the streets to earn a living. Yet, I have continued to make hundreds of thousands of efforts in the hope of benefiting hundreds of people.
I have not seen abundance to be proud of, nor wealth to be proud of, which would lead to mistreatment of people. I have learned from every moment of life, every step, every day.
But I didn’t know that I still had to learn about the environment.
Today I also received that lesson, O Merciful One, forgive me, grant my eyes a little peaceful sleep! I am waiting under the shadow of Your mercy, hoping for guidance. Please guide me.
Even though I don’t want to talk to women in my life, I have to talk out of necessity or work commitments. I don’t want to talk to any other woman (new woman).

You protect me from the clutches of women during the unfinished days of my life so that I don’t break anyone’s heart.
I do not want to be disappointed in your mercy, blessings, and virtue.(15-07-2025)

SM Moniruzzaman Akash
Poet-columnist, journalist-songwriter,
Environmental and human rights activists,
Pabna.
kdaakash2024pabna@gmail.com